So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
