i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
