fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
