I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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