That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
