im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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