If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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