i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
