Welp...herpes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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