Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
