i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
