Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
