I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
