y did u give ur computer a hand job?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
