Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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