Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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