I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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