Tell her she can't have a vagina
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he thought i was a dude.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
