Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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