Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
