I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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