i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
