i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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