I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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