I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
