The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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