I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
