just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
