I can tuck mytits in my pants
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
