I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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