Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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