Pants 0. Shit 1.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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