Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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