yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
