u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
