Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
