Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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