Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
