I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Im part way to drunk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
