I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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