Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Two words: nipple clamps
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