we're blogging at a bar
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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