Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
