Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
