He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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