Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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