ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
