I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
