make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
