hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
