in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
