just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
