I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
