So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
