ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
